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A complete siddur
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for the period of bereavemen
The laws and customs of the year of mourning.
Top 20 Question's and Answers
The Yahrzeit Organization takes no Halacha responsibility for the answers given and advises every one to consult with their local Rabbi at all times.
The
following are questions and answers that have been collected
over the years.
Kaddish Question's and Answers
General Question's and Answers
More Question's
What
date would this be in the year XXXX
Where
can I purchase Yahrzeit candles
I
would like a copy of the Yizkor and Yahrzeit prayer.
Where
can I get a copy of the prayer for Yahrzeit in English
I
am trying to find the following Psalm in
Hebrew
Am
I suppose to light the candle on the evening
preceding.
What
tehillim are said at one's relative's grave
site.
Can
I say Kaddish
The
meaning of the Kaddish
The
meaning of the yahrzeit candle
A
Yahrzeit candle lighting prayer
Some
appropriate prayers to be said at an
unveiling
What
is better for the sole regarding Kaddish?
Ritual
used for the unveiling
Can
a non Jew arrange a Kaddish for a Jew
Can
you have too many Kaddish prayers
Are
you familiar with any yahrzeit computer programs that may be
utilized by a small shull?
I
am looking for a computer program that can generate yahrzeit
date
Where to find books and prayers on the
web
Who
wrote this website and when
I
have a question about a name
A)You
may find useful information at
www.artscroll.com
or
www.jewishsoftware.com
Q)What
date would this be in the year XXXX
A) Calender
Q)
I cannot find anywhere to
purchase Yahrzeit candles.
A) Try http://www.kosherclub.com
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of Page
Q)
I would like
to know where I can get a copy of the prayer for Yahrzeit in
English and to pray it in Hebrew, My grand parents are
orthodox and have past away, I plan to convert to Judaism
and would like to do this for them. In the mean time is
there any information that I need to know about this?
A) A local Jewish Bookstore or www.artscroll.com
Q) I would
like a copy of the yizkor prayer.
A) A local Jewish Bookstore or www.artscroll.com
or
www.jewishsoftware.com
Q) In observing a
family member's yarhrzeit, am I suppose to light the candle
on the evening preceding the day they passed away? They
passed away in the morning.
A) Yes at or after nightfall you would light
According to Jewish law night begins the next day
Q)
Can
a non Jew arrange a Kaddish for a Jew?
A) Yes it is most merits and respectful
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of Page
Q)
Can you
have too many Kaddish prayers?
A) No Each persons Kaddish is counted separately and
in its own merit to the departed
Q) I am trying to find
the following Psalm in Hebrew (transliterated into English
letters): His glory is great in thy salvation: Honor and
majesty they dost lay upon Him (Tehillim/Psalm 21:6) I only
have this in the English version and want to read the Hebrew
version. I believe my name (Hod) is in it. Do you have the
transliteration into Hebrew.
A) A local Jewish Bookstore orwww.artscroll.com
or
www.jewishsoftware.com
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of Page
Q)
Is there such a prayer
as a Yahrzeit candle lighting prayer which can be said when
lighting the Yahrzeit candle for a departed loved wife? If
so, where could it be found.
A) There isn't any specific prayer to be said but as
you light the candle you should say "l'ilui nishmas..." and
then the Hebrew name of your wife and then "bas" and then
her father's Hebrew name. This means "I am lighting this
candle so that the soul of _____ shall be elevated."
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Q)
What tehillim are said at one's relative's gravesite.
A) The following tehillim are recited when one goes to a
cemetery 33, 16,17, 82, 91,104,130, and afterwards 119 only
those verses that make up the deceased first name, and after
that those verses that make up the word neshama-nun, win,
mem, hay.
Q) Is there a
prayer we say when lighting the yahrzeit candle? My father's
first yahrzeit starts tonight.
A) There isn't any specific prayer to be said but as
you light the candle you should say "l'ilui nishmas..." and
then the Hebrew name of your wife and then "bas" and then
her father's Hebrew name. This means "I am lighting this
candle so that the soul of _____ shall be elevated."
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of Page
Q) I am trying
to find the following Psalm in Hebrew (transliterated into
English letters): His glory is great in thy salvation:
Honour and majesty they dost lay upon Him (Tehillim/Psalm
21:6) I only have this in the English version and want to
read the Hebrew version. I believe my name (Hod) is in it.
Do you have the transliteration into Hebrew? Thank you in
advance Hod.
A) You can try www.artscroll.com
or
www.jewishsoftware.com
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of Page
Q)
Are there any prayers that Jews say on behalf of their
non Jewish loved ones? I am not a relative but a close
friend of the deceased. I would like to say a prayer on his
behalf but am afraid of doing something wrong. Please
Help
A) You can really say many prayers for them if you
wish... Some examples are Psalms http://www.yahrzeit.org/psalms.html
(choose the ones most meaningful to you) Or the Kaddish
http://www.yahrzeit.org/kaddish.html
which, however, must be recited in a Minyan of ten Jewish
men at the appropriate times in the prayer service...
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of Page
Q)
I wonder if it would be possible for you to E mail me the
ritual used for the unveiling of a loved ones stone.
A) Try www.artscroll.com
or
www.jewishsoftware.com
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of Page
Q)
My paternal uncle is ill, aged, and may pass away within
weeks/months. He has no children. After my own father died
when I was a child, my uncle made sure that I was provided
for through college. I wish to say Kaddish for him, am I
able to do this.
A) Yes
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of Page
Q)
Would you be able to provide (aside from the mourner's
kaddish) some appropriate prayers to be said at an
unveiling? Any prayers would be appreciate
A) The following tehillim is recited at the grave
33,16,17,82,91,104,130, and than 119 only those verses that
spell out the decease's first name and afterwards the verses
that spell out neshama "nun" "win" mem" hay" followed by kel
moleh and kaddish.
Q)What is better
for the soul regarding Kaddish?
Should one have Kaddish said by one person saying only for
that sole once a day, Or 3 times a day said by someone who
is saying for more then one soul
A) It is better for one to say Kaddish for one
Neshama a day than get someone to Say Kaddish for many
people
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of Page
Q)
My 20 year old son was killed in a car accident three weeks
ago. To help me deal with my grief I have been reading about
how others handle such a tradgedy. In my reading I came
across the Jewish prayer called the Kaddish. I have read the
English translation of the Kaddish, however I fail to see
how these words help the mourners of the dead or the soul of
the dead. I mean no disrespect. Obviously, I am not Jewish.
Could you explain more about the meaning of the Kaddish.
A) I am sorry for your loss. I to lost my daughter
when she was 12. the kaddish is a prayer that reinforces our
belief in g-d that all that happens is for the good for he
is the one who runs this world even though we at this point
do not understand the meaning of the event and why the child
was taken from us at such a young age. nevertheless g-d is
the supreme ruler and it is in his blueprint of life that
this should happen. furthermore the kaddish represents that
g-d will resurrect the dead and that is a fundamental
concept in the Jewish religion. as the Talmud states that 40
years before the final redemption g-d will resurrect the
dead.
A#2) The kaddish works in the following way. The
person who says the kaddish is praising G-d and the soul of
the departed is viewed as having inspired that praise and is
therefore rewarded for the kaddish. Secondly, the fact that
the mourners have accepted G-d's decision, painful as it may
have been, and continue to praise G-d through the kaddish is
a credit to the memory of the deceased. Someone with such
friends and family, whom he influenced to some degree, is
certainly deserving of respect in the next world...
Continued
Q#2) Thank you for your reponse to my question about the
Kaddish. I am truly sorry you and your wife had to endure
the same tragedy we have. Your message generated more
questions than it answered. If you are busy and do not want
to persue this conversation, please let me know. I will take
no offense. I believe what you are telling me is that our
natural instinct is to blame g-d for taking our loved one
and the repetition of the Kaddish forces us to turn that
grief and anger into praise and hope for the future. It
strengthens our faith and alleviates some of the grief as
well. But do Jews really believe that there is a master
"blueprint" and that everything we do is pre-ordained? I
dislike people that blame g-d for every thing wrong that
happens to us, "It was g-d's will". Personally, I believe we
are in more control of our destiny. When g-d chased Adam and
Eve from the garden of Eden, he forced us into the world of
good and evil and gave us intelligence and freewill to deal
with this world. Over 98% of our DNA is identical to monkeys
and apes yet that 2% is the difference between man and
animal. It is our responsibility to use this intelligence
and freewill to promote good over evil. I believe that is
what g-d wants his children to do. When a drunk driver hits
and kills a child, it is not g-d's will to kill children, it
is our responsibility as individuals and a society to keep
drunk drivers off the road. When that child dies, it is not
g-d who has failed us, it is we who have failed g-d.
My son had no business driving his new pickup 100mph on a
country road at midnight. It grieves me to say this but he
is responsible for his death, not g-d. Naturally, I want to
blame myself for his actions. I was his father and teacher.
I brought him up in the Christian faith because that is what
I was taught. We need organized religion to help us use this
gift of intelligence and freewill. None of us are perfect,
all we can do is try our best to live up to g-d's
expectations. I have two younger children to raise now, one
is 18 and the other 10. I say I am a Christian yet I have
never read the whole Bible. Apparently, I know even less
about Judaism. I thought resurrection was a Christian idea
from Jesus' life and that the raising of the faithful dead
was from the Book of Revelations. I have a vague
recollection that there is also reference to the end of the
world in the book of Daniel. I thought the Talmud were
scrolls of Jewish law and rules to live by. I may be
opinionated but I do not pretend to know everything. That is
why I am argumentative an ask so many questions. Would it
offend you if I add the Kaddish to my morning prayers?
A#2) In the Talmud we learn that we live a life based
on the blueprint that g-d has made. yes their is free will
but it is in the framework of the blueprint. there are many
great rabbis who have stated a long time ago that g-d has
established that in every generation and at every year their
will be sacrifices. why? we cannot explain everything that
happens and we are not allowed (
this is the administrator I do not thing the Rabbi meant
"not allowed" in the Jewish law sense)
to
ask question for we do not know the answers. for example the
holocaust why did so many people have to die Jews and non
Jews. the rabbis answer that if one looks into the matter
one may fill volumes of books with questions about life and
the way things happen in ones life but there is one answer
and that is that it is the will of g-d. I can see your point
that your son was driving 100 miles an hour and therefore
you feel that he caused it to happen himself. but in the
Jewish religion we say that it was his choice and that if
that is the way he wanted it than g-d let it be that
way.
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Q) I am a current
student at Towson University in Maryland. I am taking a
Death, Dying, and Bereavement class and I have an assignment
that asks me to pick 10 items that are related to death in
our culture and put it into a time capsule to be opened in
100 years. I wanted to put a yahrtzeit candle into the time
capsule, however, I have a question about it? I just wanted
to make sure that I knew its exact meaning. Is it to
remember the deceased during bothYom Kippur and on the
anniversary of their death? If this is not the exact
meaning, can someone please inform me of the true meaning so
that I can include this in my time capsule?
A)The yahrzeit candle represents the soul. Because of
the verse "Ner hashem Nishmas Adam" (The light of G-d is the
soul of man) the soul became associated with the candle.
This is the reason the bride and groom, when they are walked
to the chuppah (marriage canopy) by their parents, their
parents are carrying candles. So in answer to your question,
the yahrzeit candle is to represent the soul of the deceased
and to remember them.
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of Page
Q)
I am using information on your website for a
bibliography and in order to fully document you properly I
need some information. Who wrote the website and when? I
would greatly appreciate it if you could email it back to
me.
A) It was developed from several different Jewish
books. Reviewed by Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen ( a noted
author) and edited by a English professor.
It was posted 9/1998
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