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A complete siddur
(prayer book)
for the period of bereavemen
The laws and customs of the year of mourning.
General Question's and Answers
The Yahrzeit Organization takes no Halacha responsibility for the answers given and advises every one to consult with their local Rabbi at all times.
The following are questions and answers that have been collected over the years.
Top 20 Question's and Answers
Kaddish Question's and Answers
More Question's
General
Question's
What
date would this be in the year XXXX
Jewish
burial pose
Is
it appropriate to light a 24 hour flame on Yizkor
days
Where
can I find sunrise and set times
Is
it permitted to say yizkor at home
Do
I say Yizkor this Yom
Kippor
Adar
I or Adar II
What
is Mishnah
Is
there any foundation to the burning of the "7 day
candle
Outline
of the main stages in the growth of the
Mishnah
In
the bible does the soul live forever
Are
there any prayers that Jews say on behalf of their non
Jewish
I
have been lighting a candle ever since his
passing.
My
mother's father's Yahrzeit Rosh Chodesh
Ellul.
Practice
washing or any other acts on behalf of the
dead
What
is the custom for a person mourning a parent re: seudat
mitzvah for Purim
The
meaning of the yahrzeit candle
Judaism
by internet courses or seminars
Why
does the rabbi put three shovels of dirt in the grave at the
funeral
I
am planning a siyum mishnayos for the first yahrzeit
The
Jewish religion and especially
Mishnah.
If
Passover should happen to fall on Shabbat in any given
year
Could
you provide the dates on which Yizkor is said for the next
year or two
Is
the year of mourning determined by the English or the Jewish
calendar
Can
you tell me when the jewish calendar was put into
use
When
is the right date for the matzevah
setting
When
is the first yahrzeit in a year with adar I and
II
Do
we light the candle on the preceeding evening, or on the
morning
I
would like to get correct yahrzeits for various members of
my family
Something
about covering the mirrors with black sheets
The
Yahrzeit falls on the second night of passover. Is it proper
to light a memorial candle
You may find
useful information at
www.artscroll.com
or
www.jewishsoftware.com
Q)
In observing a family member's yarhrzeit, am I suppose to
light the candle on the evening preceding the day they
passed away? They passed away in the morning.
A) Yes the at or after nightfall the you would
light
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of Page
Q)Information
concerning Jewish burials. I'm particularly looking for
anything concerning the burial pose, if there is a specific
one?
A) The Jewish dead are buried face up, lying on their
backs, with their arms fully extended at their sides (not on
their chests). You might be able to find more information on
Jewish burials in general from one of the Jewish websites on
mourning or in Jewish books on mourning. One book that comes
to mind that you might find helpful is "The Jewish Way in
Death and Mourning" by Rabbi Maurice Lamm.
Q) I would
like a copy of the yizkor prayer.
A) A local Jewish Bookstore or www.artscroll.com
Q) Is it
appropriate to light a 24 hour flame on Yizkor days
A) Yes
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of Page
Q)
Where can I find
sunrise and set times
A) http://aa.usno.navy.mil/AA/data/docs/RS_OneYear.html
Q) I am trying to find
the following Psalm in Hebrew (transliterated into English
letters): His glory is great in thy salvation: Honor and
majesty they dost lay upon Him (Tehillim/Psalm 21:6) I only
have this in the English version and want to read the Hebrew
version. I believe my name (Hod) is in it. Do you have the
transliteration into Hebrew.
A) A local Jewish Bookstore or www.artscroll.com
or
www.jewishsoftware.com
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Q)
Is it permitted to say
yizkor at home if the bereaved must travel by car to shul on
a holiday.
A) If a person cannot get to shul in order too say
yizchor with the rest of the shul. one is permitted to say
it at home.
Q) Is it permitted
to say yizkor at home if the bereaved must travel by car to
shul on a holiday.
A) If a person cannot get to shul in order too say
yizchor with the rest of the shul. one is permitted to say
it at home.
Q)What
date would this be in the year XXXX
A) Calender
Q) My Father passed away this past March. My Question
is do I say Yizkor this Yom Kippor? I know I still say the
Mourners Kaddish, but I am unsure of Yizkor.
A) there is a dispute among the rabbi's if one should
recite yizkor the first year. some rabbis are of the opinion
that is should not be recited since one has very bad feeling
and will start to cry and will nor be able to control
themselves however many rabbis are of the opinion that today
one is able to control themselves and therefore they should
recite it even the first year. therefore it is up to you how
you feel if you can control yourself than you should recite
yizkor and light a candle if you cannot than you should
still light the candle.
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Q) What tehillim are said at one's relative's
gravesite.
A) The following tehillim are recited when one goes
to a cemetery 33, 16,17, 82, 91,104,130, and afterwards 119
only those verses that make up the deceased first name, and
after that those verses that make up the word neshama-nun,
win, mem, hay.
Q) My father passed away on March 1, 1999, the 13th
of Adar 5759. Since this year, 5760, is a leap year, and has
2 months of Adar, will my father's yahrzeit be in Adar I or
Adar II.
A) The yartzeit is always in adar ll but some have
the minhag also to light a candle in adar l but if that is
not your custom than just observe adar ll.
Q) What is Mishnah? I have heard it used in an
Apostolic church and I am not sure why and how they are
using this term. I am a diligent Bible study and want to
learn all I can about God's Word.
A) Mishnah are the torah laws which were set up in a
manner that one should not forget them. The Talmud expands
on them and was compiled from over 500 years of discussions
on the Mishnah.
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Q) I am trying to find the following Psalm in Hebrew
(transliterated into English letters): His glory is great in
thy salvation: Honour and majesty they dost lay upon Him
(Tehillim/Psalm 21:6) I only have this in the English
version and want to read the Hebrew version. I believe my
name (Hod) is in it. Do you have the transliteration into
Hebrew? Thank you in advance Hod.
A) You can try www.artscroll.com
or
www.jewishsoftware.com
Q) My wife just got up from Shiva. My question is 2
fold with a request.
1) Is there any foundation to the burning of the "7 day
candle" for an entire year after the passing of a parent?If
yes, where can I purchase these candles at a "reasonable"
cost and not be worried of "Trefa" candles.
A) There is no reason to light the 7 day candle for
an entire year. In any case, you could probably purchase
them at funeral homes and http://www.kosherclub.com
Q) Please can you tell me an outline of the main
stages in the growth of the Mishnah.
A) Sorry that is much to in depth of a question you
may find useful information atwww.artscroll.com
or
www.jewishsoftware.com
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Q) I would be grateful if you could let me know in
the bible does the soul live forever.
A) There is little discussion in the Bible as to the
fate of the Jewish soul, but our tradition tells us that
depending upon the way one has conducted his/her life in
this world, the soul may, after the death of the body,
travel to the Jewish equivalents of Paradise or Hell. Hell
is also generally a temporary place for the soul, after
which it travels to Paradise, except in the case of
exceptionally wicked people.
Q) Are there any prayers that Jews say on behalf of
their non Jewish loved ones? I am not a relative but a close
friend of the deceased. I would like to say a prayer on his
behalf but am afraid of doing something wrong. Please
Help
A) You can really say many prayers for them if you
wish... Some examples are Psalms http://www.yahrzeit.org/psalms.html
(choose the ones most meaningful to you) Or the Kaddish
http://www.yahrzeit.org/kaddish.html
which, however, must be recited in a Minyan of ten Jewish
men at the appropriate times in the prayer service...
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Q) I wonder if it would be possible for you to E mail
me the ritual used for the unveiling of a loved ones
stone.
A) Try www.artscroll.com
or
www.jewishsoftware.com
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Q) My father has passed away some thirteen years ago
and I have been lighting a candle ever since his passing. My
mom is still alive. This year a neighbor told me that I was
incorrectly lighting the Yahrzeit candle for my father
because I should only lite candles when both parents are
deceased. AmI correct or is she correct.
A) Yes you should light a candle at the correct
times
You are misinformed. the custom is to light a candle after a
deceased person on their yartzeit. it make no difference
weather a parent is alive or not. therefore you may light a
candle for your father and brother. before you light the
candle we state that we are lighting the candle in memory of
so and so.
If (G-d should grant her a long life) your mother passes on
you should light 2 candles
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Q) It is my mother's father's Yahrzeit Rosh Chodesh
Ellul. Could you please e-mail me at this address to tell me
if there is anything particular one should do on a yahrzeit,
apart from have a minyan. eg. extra tehillim or what.
A) the minhag is to light a Yahrzeit candle from the
evening that will burn 24 hr. if the person is a man he
should daven for the amud and say kaddish if you are married
you may ask your husband to do this (for maariv, shacris,
and mincha) if their is no other mourner to be the chazon
for he does not have the right to push him away for an in
law. many have the minhag that after davening in the morning
they give cake and juice etc. after davening. we learn
mishnayis and say tehillim give tezadaka in the name of the
deceased. and if possible one should go to the cemetery and
recite tehillim. if one cannot go on that day they may go
either the day before or after. in shul if they are reading
the torah they recite kel maley rachamin after the reading
of the torah.
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Q) I lost a niece to cancer one year ago. We were
unable to find out if it appropriate for the parents to
light a yorzeit candle for their child or if one only does
this for a parent. Please write me back as soon as
possible.
A) (The Rabbi Wrote) I too lost a daughter, in fact I
am writing you from eretz yisroel where she is buried and
her yartzeit is tomorrow and I light a candle and do all the
customary things things since she was 12 years old. I hope
this will help you. it does not state that you cannot
conduct yourself as one would for a parent
Q) The Kaddish was the mourners prayer, but did the
people of Israel also practice washing or any other acts on
behalf of the dead
A) http://www.shemayisrael.co.il/burial/index.htm
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Q)
What is the custom for a person mourning a parent re: seudat
mitzvah for Purim?
A) One who is in mourning should eat the Purim seuda
with his family and not more than one or two guests (it
can't be a "party"-- seudas mereius).
Q) Would you be able to
provide (aside from the mourner's kaddish) some appropriate
prayers to be said at an unveiling? Any prayers would be
appreciate
A) The following tehillim is recited at the grave
33,16,17,82,91,104,130, and than 119 only those verses that
spell out the decease's first name and afterwards the verses
that spell out neshama "nun" "win" mem" hay" followed by kel
moleh and kaddish.
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Q)
I am a current student at Towson University in Maryland.
I am taking a Death, Dying, and Bereavement class and I have
an assignment that asks me to pick 10 items that are related
to death in our culture and put it into a time capsule to be
opened in 100 years. I wanted to put a yahrtzeit candle into
the time capsule, however, I have a question about it? I
just wanted to make sure that I knew its exact meaning. Is
it to remember the deceased during bothYom Kippur and on the
anniversary of their death? If this is not the exact
meaning, can someone please inform me of the true meaning so
that I can include this in my time capsule?
A)The yahrzeit candle represents the soul. Because of
the verse "Ner hashem Nishmas Adam" (The light of G-d is the
soul of man) the soul became associated with the candle.
This is the reason the bride and groom, when they are walked
to the chuppah (marriage canopy) by their parents, their
parents are carrying candles. So in answer to your question,
the yahrzeit candle is to represent the soul of the deceased
and to remember them.
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Q)
When searching for the text of the Kaddish I was lead to
your internet homepage. In addition to the informations I
could get from your website I would be very grateful if you
could send me any further information about whatsoever
possibilties to learn the Hebrew language and to pass
studies on Judaism by internet courses or seminars provided
by schools or universities located in the US, Germany or any
other country.
A) Try http://www.yu.edu
Q) Why does the rabbi put three
shovels of dirt in the grave at the funeral?
A) It should be obvious that to help someone with out
any possible repayment is a great Mitzvah (good deed)
One is not allowed to do anything (such as work pray learn
Torah) if he is responsible to bury someone. The merit one
gets regarding the dead is unexplainable in this e-mail. So
therefor manually shoveling dirt on a coffin is shared by
all that attend the funeral. With large religious funerals
it is even sometimes difficult for all to even put one
shovel on the grave.
Why the Rabbi only put 3 shovels, I do not know. It does not
state in the Torah how many shovel of dirt one throws onto
the Coffin, just that one shovel dirt onto it.
Most probably no one else was going to shovel dirt and he
was not going to do it all himself so he just did the
minimum and made sure the grave was filled before he
left.
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Q)
I am planning a siyum mishnayos for the first yahrzeit
of my father, z'l. Where would I find appropriate material
for a vort, and what should be the mood of such a
gathering?
A) The purpose of the seudah is to be a zechus for
the niftar and that is what the learning was for . I would
say a vort on the parsha that somehow ties into a midda etc.
about your father or idea that he gave over to his chidren .
I would state that this seudas mitzvah is for his aliya for
all the torah learning that was done was in his zechus.
Q) I have been asked to complete an assignment on the
jewish religion and especially Mishnah. If you know of any
info that could help me on this subject would be really
helpful.
A) Try looking at or asking http://www.shemayisrael.com/
or http://bbs.shemayisrael.com/anything
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Q)
If Passover should happen to fall on Shabbat in any
given year, is there not a rule that says Passover must be
moved forward two days, and what is the name of this rule,
(if any)?
A) Absolutely not
The only time one may desecrate the shobbos is for an
actual life or death matter. Fasts days are postponed so as
not to desecrate the Shabbas. The only exception is Yom
Kippor which is called the Shabbas of Shabbas's When most of
the holidays fall out on shobbos they are celebrated
together.
Q) Could you provide the dates on which Yizkor is
said for the next year or two?
A) If you are asking a question about when a specific
date is, Why not try our online calendar at http://www.yahrzeit.org/kaddish.html
Q) Is the year of mourning determined by the English
or the Jewish calendar
A) The mourning is determined by the Jewish
calendar
Q) Can you tell me when the jewish calendar was put
into use? i know it starts with the day of creation but if
you can, please tell me what day it first started?
A) In the 4th century CE
The idea that the Jewish calendar follows the 354-day lunar
year and the months being determined by sightings of the new
moon is biblical. Advanced astronomical measurements and
calculations were made in Talmudic times as were the names
of the months (ie: Nissan, Iyar, Sivan etc.) which were
adopted in Babel.
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Q)
My dear father szl. passed away on 4th Tishri of las
year.(14th Sept. 99) He was buried on 6th Tishri. (16th
Sept. 99)
1. When is the right date for the matzevah setting?
2. When is the first yahrzeit in a year with adar I and
II?
A) Since it was a leap year the avelos of twelve
months finishes after 12 months which means that it will
finish one month ahead. however, the Yahrzeit is on the day
of burial for the first year and thereafter always on the
date of death. therefore in your case one would sat the
unveiling on the date of burial along with all the customs
of the Yahrzeit.
Q) My brother's yahrzeit is on Friday, May 19. Do we
light the candle on the preceeding evening, or on the
morning of the 19th? Thank you.
A) The preceding evening Thursday night
Q) I would like to get correct yahrzeits for various
members of my family
A) Why not try our online resource or calendar at
http://www.yahrzeit.org/kaddish.html
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of Page
Q)
My mother in law was Jewish - and she died Friday - the
funeral was today, and afterwards we had everyone over our
house - since I am Catholic, as most of her in-laws, we
don't know too much about traditions - but I did hear
something about covering mirrors with black - and so I did
cover our mirrors with black sheets - everyone, especially
her Jewish relatives, thought it was really nice gesture,
but no one knows the reason for the tradition. Please let us
know. She was a wonderful woman, always faithful to her
Jewish roots - and I so loved and respected her - we will
all miss her terribly.
A) The reason why we cover the mirrors is so that the
mourners should not see themselves for in the Jewish
religion a mourner sits seven days and does not take care of
themselves therefore they are not groomed and we cover the
mirrors so as not to see ourselves.
Q) My mother's yahrzeit falls on the second night of
passover. Is it proper to light a memorial candle, and if
not, when should it be done?
A) You should light a candle on the 2nd Night of
passover and have Kaddish said. You should as well have
Yizkor said on the second day of the second days of passover
and light a Yahrzeit candle on the second days as well . A
Yahrzeit candle is lit and Yizkor is said on all 3 Yom
Tovs
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